Dagnydarling's Blog

All You Need is L-O-V-E

Posted in Letters to Nobody by dagnydarling on January 24, 2011

I’m a big believer in happily ever after.  I subscribed to Disney movies with a fervor that conservatives would envy, and I stand by my arguments of meant to be.  Even with a broken heart and a jaded view of life, I am a vehement defender of all things mushy, and none of that makes me sad.

Yesterday, I had one of those days that reminds you to believe in God.  I woke up early to great weather and the sun shining through my big window.  Sitting outside of the patio of Panera, I read my book by myself and ate a sandwich while (unintentionally) eavesdropping on two people nearby.  They weren’t a couple, maybe a brother/sister combo, or long-time male/female friends.  When she got up to go to her car, she yelled over at him, “You’re loved.”  He looked back and said, “You are too!”

Hearing that exchange made me inexplicably happy.  There I was, by myself in the middle of the day, anxiousy awaiting  a brazilian wax that was sure to be inexplicably painful and I couldn’t help but feel myself light up behind my massive sunglasses.  How awesome was that, I thought to myself.  That’s all we ever want to hear…  That we’re loved, by anyone in this big, crazy world.  And the way they did it, like it was so obvious that the other was loved, adored by another was absolutely refreshing and in a way that I so desperately needed to hear.  Whoever they are, wherever they went after their lunch, I owe them both a debt of gratitude… I felt loved by simply being nearby such a nonchalant good-bye.  And I ask anyone who reads this to just remind someone they love them today, right now.  You never know how much someone you adore needs to hear it, and you never know what sort of blessing you’ll inflict by spreading your message to those fortunate enough to be near to listen in.

I fell in love.  I stumbled into what I was certain was meant to be, and I was mistaken.  The same man who wondered at my stubborn dedication to fairy-tale futures was the same one to prove himself right.  My father was unfaithful.  The boss that I swore would change the world couldn’t salvage his own marriage because of his lack of integrity.  And the man I prayed for every night turned out to be one of the same crowd.  I don’t give up on my hope for love though, or my belief that everyone has a someone out there meant to love them for the absolute wreck we all are.  I give up on him.  I give up on the person I so sincerely believed him to be… the person he didn’t believe in himself enough to become. 

That’s okay. though.  We live, we learn, and we go on.  I’m no exception to this rule. 

I spent the day on the patio of a bar with my best friend.  Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching, and I will no doubt spend it working, I have come to term with this.  But as we left the bar, I came across an interesting sign…

I don't even LIKE the dog I live with.

 

My roommate and I died laughing… For different reasons.  Her Valentine’s Day is going to be Santa Barbara with a guy who would give both legs to see her smile.  My valentine’s day will be something more along the lines of the people who will hang out with their pets.  Frankly, I’d rather just be alone than hang out with Charlie the Miracle Dog. 

But regardless, I found myself smiling.  Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate the people you love, not just the people you love who have the opposite genatalia.  And yes, I find it a silly holiday, but the purpose is something inherently endearing to me.  It’s a day when the majority of the American population get on my level and succumb to the idea that you can love someone enough to change the world, or at least, your own world.

People leave.  They’ll disappoint you, or hurt you, or make you feel like you deserve to be unhappy (which is never true).  The trick is to never let them trick you into believing that they are the whole representation of love, because they aren’t- especially if they make you doubt it.  I’m a cynic with a seriously soft-heart, and that heart is filled with people I don’t remind often enough that they are more than I could dare to think I deserve. 

So, do me a favor: don’t wait until Valentine’s Day or some other cheesy Hallmark-induced holiday to remind the people close to you that they make you smile.  Also, please don’t bring your dog to the bar on Valentine’s Day.  Softie as I may be, I will ridicule you.

But hold on to what you believe in the light
When the darkness has robbed you of all your sight

So hold on to what you believed in the light

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One Response

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  1. Jaclyn Rae said, on January 24, 2011 at 6:25 am

    “The trick is to never let them trick you into believing that they are the whole representation of love, because they aren’t- especially if they make you doubt it.”

    You are so brilliant, seriously. I love your writing and your style… You’re just fabulous 🙂 I relate so much to your posts.

    And I hate Valentine’s Day, but I’ll try not to be bitter this year 🙂


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