The MVP of Wing-Women
“Wanna go to Vegas?”
“K, so we’re leaving at 7, I’ll pick you up.”
“Wait… when did we agree on anything, and why the hell at 7?”
…And that’s how D convinced me to go to Vegas on less than 36 hours notice, for 24 hours of awesomeness (which is not a word, and I don’t care).
Essentially, D let her vagina get the best of her and we wound up in Vegas meeting up with some guy she sort of liked a year ago who lives in San Fransisco at 4 o’clock in the morning after I told strange old men stories about my kid and divorce. (I lie my ass off when I get really drunk). And then we came back to Orange County in time for Superbowl and went to hang out with this guy who likes D who we met that time I was trying to make in-roads with the biker gang.
Odd enough though, I’m pretty sure I had a better time than D did all weekend. Yeah, guys love her and she could probably have enough sex to satisfy Charlie Sheen for all of this year and I am somewhat more solitary these days (by choice?), but it was awesome. She dates, talks to, or makes out with guys I end up loving. Everytime there’s a new love interest for her, I come up on at least 2 new friends that I adore and that I’m certain appreciate my quirky greatness.
The purpose of this isn’t to brag about how attractive I am as a wing-woman (or is it?), it’s about an interesting realization D and I had while I jubilantly announced how smitten I was by our Superbowl companions. Why was it, it occured to me, that I always LOVED the guys she dated, and she HATED the guys I fell for? Actually, nobody likes the guys I date…. which means my taste is really as bad as I have always feared, or… well, I can’t think of a viable second option.
Mostly because I want my friends to agree to show up at my wedding, I’m gonna try to date people they don’t openly loathe with venomous passion… speaking of which I need to talk about the guy I’ve been on a few dates with… next time.
PS. If you have come to this blog in search of Natalie Portman porn… I apologize. These days everyone in my life is staying clothed, blog and otherwise.