Dagnydarling's Blog

Let Me Use Your Life Experiences For My Own Haphazard Education, Please.

Posted in Birds & the Bees by dagnydarling on March 24, 2011

Sadly, certain parts of yesterday’s post were a little bit premature.  Namely, anything mentioning the President.  We had our second and last argument (“discussion” if we’re using my parents’ verbage), and promptly decided we were no good for eachother.  I have a lot of respect for him, although it was clear that we would murder one another, or probably ruin both of our careers if we continued on.  Plus, there’s a lot that I can’t really write here because he doesn’t deserve to be aired out on my blog.  I’ve learned my lesson there, so we will just wish him the best of luck while he exits the life of [Dagnydarling].

I went to Chipotle today– no, that’s not the whole point of this blog, although it could very well be.  While waiting patiently for my burrito (does anyone know why they use GOLD wrappers now?!), a group of very loud, very annoying, I-don’t-understand/respect-personal-space teenaged boys stood behind me.  And then one of them declared the following:

“I’m going to marry the first girl I fall in love with.”

I promptly fell in love with him before remembering that that is illegal in California and took a step to distance myself from this prebubescent Romeo. 

Homeboy thinks he’s going to marry his first love.  Granted, homeboy is only probably 17 right now… but hey, it could happen.  And I think that’s awesome.  (I also suspect he’ll be divorced shortly after if we’re taking statistics into consideration, but hey.  Po-tay-tow, Po-tah-tow).

So now that I’m rounding out something like True Love #43 (I date a lot), I wonder what my life would have been if I married my first love:  the goobery musician with a big heart- who I last heard is technically homeless that I dated at 17.  At 17, let’s be real, a lot was going wrong with me– I included a picture to prove this point.  So whether it was the blond hair, or bad tan, or cumbersome braces, I was still working into “me.”  As much as I was certain that we would be married though, I am inexplicably grateful that I didn’t marry him.  I would have been miserable.  In the process of being wretched, I am pretty sure I would have destroyed his life, too.  So we count our blessings- even if they were unwanted at the time.

There are nowords for why my hair is so poofy, or why my face is so pale, or why I have what LOOKS like rhinestones on my eyebrows. I'm not sure including this picture was wise. Be gentle.

I’m not a whole hell of a lot closer to marriage today than I was at 17- except that maybe I have an earnest desire to be married and I stopped doing my make-up like a tranny.  But I couldn’t have married the President, although he was what you would have wanted in a husband, and my first love, bless his heart is everything you wouldn’t want. 

There’s no big resolution to this post- except to notify you all that the Prez got impeached sort of early (a little cheesy, I know), and apparently that 17 year old boys are far more romantic than I remember them being.  What I would love Love LOVE, though, is for anyone to tell me about their first love (and then to give them THIS SURVEY).  I’ll settle for just the story about your first love though.

My own experiences are not learning experiences enough, so I’m simply asking to let me keep yours forever buried deep in my subconscious  borrow yours.

(Final thought: What a sweet book that would make… Damn my creative ideas coming so late at night I’m too lazy to do anything about it).

(Final final thought: “so late at night?”  It’s 9:30.  Fuck, I’m old.)


7 Responses

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  1. Jaclyn Rae said, on March 25, 2011 at 12:46 am

    I think your 17 year-old self is quite cute! 🙂

    My first love happened when I was 17. It’s still the longest relationship I’ve had, which kind of makes me feel like I’m getting worse at this whole dating thing. We were “in love” and going to be together “forever”… Until I found him in bed with someone on my 19th birthday.

    Sometimes it’s best when first loves end. 🙂

  2. sharonvogiatzi said, on March 25, 2011 at 11:25 am

    Sorry to hear about the Prez.

    And about your first love, Jaclyn! That must have been tough, you poor thing!!

    My first love was at 16. We were friends first, then when we got together, I was too scared to ever be alone with him so I brought my friend Julie everywhere we went. A few months later, I ended it, only to regret my decision, and, in that interval (a week), he had met someone else, who he stayed with for years.
    We’re now friends on Facebook. I checked out his photos and I definitely don’t fancy him now. Thank you, wise (but irritatingly indecisive) 16-year-old Sharon.

  3. k-dawg said, on March 25, 2011 at 11:51 am

    I’m with ya girl. The boy i dated when I was 16 and I are pretty good pals these days though, but sooo not right for each other– he recently visited Boston for a video game convention (uh, just to give you an idea how how NOT my type he is today). I definitely agree: we would have ripped each other’s lives apart if we’d gotten married. You hear about those crazy kids who marry their high school sweethearts– I love those couples, they’re cute, and good for them!!– but they’re a dime a dozen. The rest of us fools have to do the growing up shit on our own and then find someone who can deal with our weird habits and hang up’s we’ve developed along the way. And, if we’re lucky, they’ll love us despite our weird crap 🙂

  4. Berg said, on March 25, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    Ahhh first love! Looks like 16/17 is about the time for that!
    I was 16, I met him through all of his friends, wed all get drunk together in true high schooler fashion… he even asked me to be his girlfriend after a party we almost got kicked out bc we didnt really know the person throwing it but I talked my way out of it, he said something along the lines of “how could I not make a girl that cool my girlfriend” (great start right?) We did everything together, worked together, hung out everyday… mostly with his friends and my select few friends he actually liked, including my best friend who also worked with us. They created a great friendship, they went shopping for gifts for me together(excuse i think tes), drove to work together (guess where this is going, WAIT not yet). He was a year older than me so he headed off to colllege and in my mind we were TOTALLY going to last. We broke up like a week before my SR homecomming dance so we went together anyways (BAD IDEA). He dissapeared afterwards and later I found out he hooked up with my EX best friend right outside the party we were at. I still creep on him on facebook and when I see him at parties (bc we have mutual friends now that we both live back in our hometown) I have mini panic attacks. So he thinks I am crazy, which, in this case, I am, I dont know this 25 year old guy at all (I havent had a serious conversation with him in like 6 year) but when I see him I turn into a 17 year old girl…

  5. twentysomethingwaitress said, on March 25, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    “I’m not a whole hell of a lot closer to marriage today than I was at 17- except that maybe I have an earnest desire to be married and I stopped doing my make-up like a tranny.”

    Probably one of the best sentences I have read all week. Your picture made me laugh out loud. (and no…I’m not laughing at you…I’m laughing WITH you. Two can play the horrible pictures from our youth game.)

    Pirate Waitress.

    • dagnydarling said, on March 26, 2011 at 12:45 am

      Laugh at me. It’s well deserved— did you SEE those Shakira-esque roots? I’m happy fellow twenty-somethings can have a mutual cringe-fest in regards to our looks in the early 2000’s.

  6. twentysomethingwaitress said, on March 25, 2011 at 8:54 pm

    Sorry. I fail at posting links. Thank you also for feeding fish to a dog at a bar. You win at life.

    Pirate Waitress.

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